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Contemplating Between Career Aspirations and Traditional Matchmaking: An Indian Woman’s Dilemma

Arti Kumari, 22, was in a runner’s lunge on a dusty dirt track, waiting for her mother to start the clock. Even though she had woken up before dawn to train, the intense heat weighed heavily on her. Northern India was going through the worst heat wave in 45 years. However, Arti was determined to continue her training for a life-changing run. Like millions of other young Indians, she aspired to work for the central government. The exams for these positions were highly competitive, and only a small fraction of applicants managed to pass. Many individuals studied for years in preparation. Arti had already defied the odds and passed the written exams for the Central Industrial Security Force (C.I.S.F), a paramilitary organization responsible for safeguarding critical infrastructure. Now, she had to pass the physical test, which included running a mile in seven minutes or less, in order to secure one of the coveted jobs.

While others in her village woke up at 3 a.m. to work in the fields before retreating indoors due to the heat, Arti and her mother, Meena, went to a makeshift track nearby. They were aware that those seven minutes could change everything.

Arti belonged to a village where it was considered shocking for a woman her age to still be single. However, Arti and Meena believed that the risks of delaying her marriage would be worthwhile if she could attain the lifelong security of a government job. She had managed to negotiate several delays to the arranged marriage with a young man named Rohit Kumar. First, she extended the engagement by a year to finish her university degree. Then, she secured another year’s delay to take the civil service exams. However, Rohit’s family became increasingly insistent on proceeding with the marriage, and Arti’s father and extended family worried about the consequences of finding a new groom for her. They feared high dowries and uncertainty. The gamble of pursuing a government job seemed riskier as time went on.

However, Arti Kumari was the kind of girl that the village of Belarhi saw as exceptional. She excelled in various fields – academics, athleticism, and determination. Her room was adorned with medals from math races at her school, where she excelled in both running sprints and solving equations. Arti possessed both intelligence and physical prowess.

Arti did not have financial support from her father, a poor farmer. However, she had an advantage uncommon in a village girl – her mother, Meena, who worked outside the home and was determined to ensure her daughter never became a trapped and dependent wife.

Meena had high ambitions of her own as a young girl. In her home village, education ended after primary school. However, she convinced her parents to allow her to travel to another village to continue her studies. She became the first girl in her family to complete middle school. After finishing eighth grade, her parents decided it was time for her to get married. Meena wanted to study hard and secure a well-paying job. She saw people with purses full of money on buses and believed she could achieve the same.

Meena managed to complete high school shortly after her marriage at the age of 17. She took her final exams while heavily pregnant with Arti. However, her freedom was limited after marriage. Her husband’s family controlled the household resources and denied Meena even basic support, including soap and detergent. Food scarcity for her children became a major concern. After eight years, when the risk of starvation loomed, Meena’s mother-in-law allowed her to work at a local women’s NGO. Her job involved encouraging rural families to utilize government-provided prenatal care and vaccinations. Despite her husband’s objections, Meena’s salary enabled her to educate her daughters.

As Arti’s remaining days of freedom dwindled, she faced an uncomfortable truth – government job opportunities were scarce, even for accomplished daughters from Belarhi. Yet, these jobs offered the security she yearned for. Trijita Gonsalves, a political scientist and author, explained that government jobs provided better retirement programs and protection against harassment and gender discrimination, though enforcement of these rules was often lacking. The high demand for government jobs pointed to a broader problem. India’s young population accounted for a significant portion of the workforce, but job creation had not kept pace. In the 1990s, about 43% of young Indians between 15 and 24 years old had jobs. By 2020, that number had decreased to approximately 23%.

Despite her numerous attempts, Arti had failed most of the civil service exams. However, there was a glimmer of hope when she passed the written exam for the industrial security force. She still had a chance to realize her dream job, as long as she could pass the physical test. However, marriage pressures intensified as Rohit’s parents and Arti’s extended family gave ultimatums. The wedding was set for the first week of May 2022. After marriage, Arti’s time would no longer be her own. She would live with Rohit’s parents, and his conservative mother expected a traditional daughter-in-law dedicated to caring for her husband and in-laws. While Rohit supported Arti’s ambitions during their engagement, there were doubts about his future stance, especially if influenced by his parents. As her independence waned, Arti continued training despite the debilitating heat. A few weeks before the wedding, she even collapsed from dehydration but quickly resumed training as soon as she recovered.

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